Finding Who You Were Meant To Be

We all grew up wanting things.   And I don’t mean that cool xbox game or that special Barbie we just had to have.  I mean we had real wants and dreams as a kid.  I knew as soon as I read Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s books about far away places that I had the travel bug.  I wanted to brave the amazon jungle, and find a new species and name it myself.  I wanted to go to the deepest darkest parts of the jungle and meet tribes and stay with them and learn how they live so differently from us.  I want to go on an African Safari and see all the animals, taking pictures as we drove by.  I wanted to go on a dig in Egypt and discover some ancient tomb filled with historical treasures.   I would dream about it; I would write about it. Then writing became my dream.  Of course along the way were the naysayers.  You can’t make any money doing that.  Writing is okay for a hobby, I guess.  You have to be super terrific to get a book published and what do you know about writing anyway?  Only people like Stephen King make any money at it.  What are you going to write a romance, that’s all girls write ya know.

I could’ve let those people stop me from doing what I wanted.  Writing isn’t just a hobby for me.  You know how I know?  It’s something that I’m passionate about. It’s what I was meant to do. And I know this because I want to do it all the time now.  I used to just do it when I had a chance but now when I’m not working I’m writing, or researching, or plotting, or editing.  And it’s something I want to do on a Friday night rather than go out to a movie or a party or a bar with my friends.  That’s how you know it’s something you were destined to do, what you were put on this earth for.  Right now my creativity is at a peak of unspeakable means.  I just had a flash at a Walmart and had to stop in the middle Walmart and write an entire children’s book on my phone.  Now that is serious when you can’t let yourself leave Walmart, or even just go to your car.  It was like this burst of inspiration that wouldn’t let me go and I had to get the whole thing out or I would lose it forever.  Thank God it was a children’s book and not a longer work of fiction!  But that’s how you know that this is who you were meant to be.  And the travel?  Who says I can’t do all those things and write about it?  I don’t have to be some boring old travel writer.  I can talk to people, talk to fellow travelers and people from those countries hear their stories and make up stories of my own.  I can create fantastical stories of long forgotten places where miraculous things happened and adventures abound.  And as for getting published, who cares about agents and publishers anymore. I can publish my own works on Kindle Amazon, and Barnes & Noble Nook, and many others.  I just need to make sure they are ready and then get them out there.  I have to do my own marketing which isn’t easy and I’ve got my work cut out for me, but the more books I write and the more I publish the more chances I have of people seeing what I’ve written.  As far as my children’s books go, I’m trying to find an illustrator to work with me.  I know I could probably do it but it will take a long time, time that I could be writing.  So if you know an illustrator that would be willing to work something out, send them my way. We’re talking 13 books maybe more.  But now you know how to tell what you were meant to do, something you would give up your Friday and Saturday nights for.  What is that important for you?

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3 More On the Way

I can’t believe it I have all 3 of my cancer book covers done and ready to go.  This makes me really excited.  I’m doing a final re-read and edit with me and a friend through the weekend on all three books.  I’ve decided what I’m doing to do is put them all up separately at $2.99 and then offer them as a bundle for $5.99.  So I’ve got to find someone to format them all separately and then together as a group.  I get paid Monday, so this will probably cost around $25 or so on Fiverr maybe a little more if I can get them to do mobi and epub.  Hopefully no more than $35.  But you have no idea how excited I am about this, being about to get 3 more books out there where people can buy them.  I’ve got a another book, under a pen name that will go up soon, as well.  Personally I love the book, and I’m not ashamed of anything in it; but I don’t want all questions that will come at me from my mom, so it’s easier to just use a pen name and those who know and love me will know it’s me anyway.

But regardless of how this is all taking shape and the fact that I’m having to seek help with making commercial-style covers, and format my books, I’m out there doing what I want to do.  I’ve Taken My Leap Of Faith and now I just pray that the gods looks down on me favorably and that people buy up books like hotcakes and I keep having time to write.  So get off your duff and take your own leap.  It’s not as scary as it seems. :)

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Always Stuck Waiting

Who knew it was going to take this long just to get the edits redone on the book and get it back up correct?  Well, it’s been up and incorrect for a while, but now it should be right.  There are still places were the spacing is strange, and when I check it out before uploading, everything looks fine, so it must happen upon upload, but I don’t know how to get it to not do that.  But I think all the spelling errors are gone now.  Knock on wood.  Of course, I say that, and then there will be one.  I’m  just glad that I’m done writing the second book and and now in the editing stage for it.  I’ve tried to do some marketing, but I need reviews to do much more.  So If you have gotten my book and read it, please leave a review for me.  If not, it is much easier to find my book by my last name, Gonterman.   It’s only $2.99 on Amazon and there are 2 more coming.

But I am still in limbo as far as the cancer books go.  I have written 3 now.  And I want to put them all up separately and as a set, but I’m having problems with getting the e-covers done, I’m waiting on two of them to be accomplished, and then I can get them all formatted and done all at once to put up together.

I am also waiting on another book to be formatted that I wrote under a pen name.  It’s a way different and because of that I thought it best to be under a different name.

It feels like I get my part all done and then I’m stuck waiting on other people to help me. Lord knows I tried to format for Kindle my books myself, but couldn’t figure it out, even with the software and directions that I had for my Mac.  But you figure when you pay someone to do it, it  should get done and  you should’t have to  be constantly emailing trying to find out where your project is up to, because it was supposed to be completed two days or two weeks ago.  I hate waiting.  When my part is done I just want to see it through to the end, and see it published.  I have 5 things completed and only 1 thing out there.  It’s just kind of frustrating.

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Rocky Starts

Anything worth while doing will probably not be a perfect shot out of the gate.  On my other site I was talking about how I had corrections of spacing and editing of the book I had just put up for sale on Amazon.  And yeah, I’d already had to to some find and replace corrections because the person at Amazon said I couldn’t talk about the television show Castle or it’s characters.  I could allude to it in some way, so I did a find Castle, replace with Knight; find Becket, replace with Secket; and for the real person who plays Castle, find Nathan Fillion and replace with Mason Killion.  As least I know people who have watched the show will get it.

Anyway when I got his copy back I just did a courtesy glance to make sure the chapter links worked, and the chapters all started on a new page, and the italics looked right.  But I didn’t stop to read it.  Big mistake.  There were were’t any spelling errors but there were places I had used a word instead of the right one there were spaces issues that needed to be fixed.  So I made a list and sent it to him.  Hopefully the corrections will be done soon, do I can upload it asap.

But that brings me to my topic, the ever winding rocky road.  We start a new venture, and inevitably something goes wrong in the beginning.  It always does.  Makes us wonder whether or not we should even be doing this if we’ve already failed this quickly.  But you have to stick to your guns.  This was a set back, not a disaster.  You can recover from it, you just have to try.  No one gets it right the first time.  For some it can take a few times to get it right.  That doesn’t mean you’re bad at what you do, it just means you’re human.  And humans make mistakes.  I’ve said it before Edison took 1000 times to make the light bulb.  He didn’t give up.  That’s tenacity!  And instead of looking at it like 999 failures he looked at it like 999 ways not to make a like bulb and 1 way to make a light bulb.  Now that’s a glass half full kind of guy if ever there was one.  Keep trying, don’t give up when life gets you down.  Sometime life tests you, it want’s to know that you really want it bad enough to pick you self up and keep going, and reaching for your dream.  So that’s what you have to do, no matter what, strive for your goals, don’t let your dreams fall the wayside.  If you have to struggle, then struggle.  No one said it would be easy.  Just keep plugging away, and eventually your dreams will come true.

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I’m an Author

I finished the first in a series of novels and got it configured by someone on Fiverr.  I tried, I really did, I spent 2 days, trying to make it work, but I couldn’t get it right, so I let someone else format it for me.  And it looks fantastic.  It is up and running on Amazon as I type.  I sent a text to all my family and friends and a message out on Facebook.  I don’t expect them all to buy it, I’m just so damn excited that it’s finally out there.  I’m an author.  So what if I published it myself.  So what if it’s on Kindle and not in print.  I wrote it.  And it’s out there for everyone to read.  My book.

It’s called For Your Eyes Only! not to be confused with the James Bond title with the same name.  It has nothing to do with espionage, but it is about a secret society.  It’s probably easier to find if you look it up by my last name, if you want to check it out, so you can look for Gonterman.  I’ve already got the 2nd in the series almost finished, and surprisingly the book’s characters are taking the book to different places than I thought it would go.  It’s fun seeing what they do and say, and not knowing ahead of time.

I’ve also got a couple non-fiction books I’m planning on putting out, and some other things I’m working on, so this is just the beginning for me.  I’m just getting started.  I finally let my passion get the best of me, I took my Leap, when are you going to get off your ass and take yours?

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Thinking Back and Wondering What Will Be

So I was just on my other blog: and was going over all the things that I have to start incorporating in my day to day, and man it’s a lot.  So do I set a word count for the writing or a time allotment, because I can’t just go until I’m done, or I’d be up all night?

And I have to see my kids.  I mean, yeah, they’re older and can pretty much take care of themselves, but my oldest is leaving for college in the fall.  All I have is the next few months.  Call me selfish, but I want to spend as much time with him as I can while I have the time to spend it.  I know he has his friends and his girlfriend and I won’t keep him from them, but I’m going to miss him like crazy, and want to get in as many memories as I can.  Usually at this point that is going to dinner and going to the movies, and that is fine with me.  But I want that time.

You hold this precious little bundle in your arms and you think you have all the time in the world.  And they just grow up so damn fast and you don’t know where all the time went, because it seemed like yesterday they were sitting in your lap and you were reading their favorite book.  Now they’re driving a car to go the the park and shoot hoops.  Part of me is so proud of the almost man that I raised who is going to go out and take the world by storm.  And part of me just wants my little boy back to cuddle with and read our favorite stories.  But time goes on and he has to grow up.  I guess I just have to be happy that he is going to be a man that I can be proud of.  He will be good and strong and stand up for himself, for others, and for what is right.  And I had a hand in that.  And one day, he’ll have kids of his own, and he’ll understand how quickly the time goes, and how important the life lessons are.

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The Board Game of Life

The key to life, is understanding which board game you are playing at the current time.  Are you just in The Game of Life?  Is it Battleship?  Risk?  Monopoly?  Or are you forever stuck in Candy Land, destined to never grow up?  Or maybe you feel like you’re playing Chutes and Ladders and keep getting those darned chutes.  (If your kids are around make sure you’re not playing strip poker!)  I know that is a card game, but I had to throw that one in just for the fun of it.

When I was a kid we had this game called Payday, and the gameboard was set up as a calendar month.  The object was to be able to pay all your bills and not run out of money before your next payday.  Of course there were car accidents and dentist bills and unexpected doctor visits.  For some reason, I really liked this game as a kid.  I gotta say, it’s not so much fun in real life.  I mean what do you do when you come up short?  You can’t just borrow from the bank like you can in the board game.  You have to decide what you pay and what you don’t.  So is that where Risk comes in?

And of course, tax season is upon us.  Well, at least I know the government owes more than I do.  Actually, I’m getting back this year, and paying off some old bills to try and get my credit rating up.  It sucks when you want to play The Game of Life and take your family on that vacation and you pay bills instead.  Personally, I’d like to buy a hotel on Park Avenue and rake in the cashola while someone else manages the place.  Sounds like the perfect Monopoly to me.  Just don’t make me compare Apples to Apples or play Pictionary.  No one can draw right.  If life has to be a board game it should be fun, where everyone is laughing and joking around and having a blast!  What game are you playing right now?

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