A Time For Healing and…

This summer has been all about one thing for me… healing.  I have had two surgeries this summer.  Both were to fix a problem that was caused by a surgery in 2007.  I had a surgery at the end of May to initially to fix the problem but when the surgeon went in, he found out he couldn’t do it.  He had to pull out of the surgery, and we had to wait for me to heal, and I had to see a new specialist to have my second surgery at the beginning of August.  It’s been almost a month now after my second surgery and I’m still recovering from it, still healing from it.  The surgery was supposed to last 1 1/2 hours but it lasted 5 1/2 hours.  My surgeon said it was one of the hardest surgeries she had in a long time.  When I went in I had no idea it was going to be this hard, hurt this much for this long, that I’d still be barely able to do anything but sit on the couch.   Don’t get me wrong I can walk around, but not for long periods.  Before the surgery I was a server/manager at a restaurant and was used to being on my feet for 9+ hours a day.  And now I can barely manage to stand for 20 minutes.  You know it’s one thing to feel young and not feel like you are your age, but I’m 43 now and I guess I don’t bounce back like I used to.  I do a lot more meditating now, I have all the time in the world.  I’ve also been taking an online class which is easy to do sitting on my couch.  It’s actually been taking up the majority of my time.  I really want to get through it before I have to go back to work.

It’s a class on copywriting.  A way to turn my love and passion for writing into an income that can replace my job as a server/part-time manager and hopefully surpass that income and potentially make me enough money to live on, and pay off my debts, and get money in savings.  I’m about to the halfway mark right now, and things are going pretty good, at least on that front.  I had to turn in my first sample copy that I can show potential clients, and get it reviewed by one of the head copywriters.  And after making final touches, they liked what I did and said I had a clear voice and natural way of writing that came across as very persuasive and had potential.  The great thing is that there is a real market for good copywriters and the earnings can be quite good.  So, like I said, I’m spending most of my time getting through the reading and the exercises and the questions and the examples and trying to get finished with the class so that I can start marketing myself and start getting clients sooner rather than later.

So besides working on class I’m just eating right, and walking a little every day, and trying to let my body ever so slowly heal.  I know it’s going to take time, this was major surgery.  It still hurts every day.  There are a lot of things I can’t do right now, and I have restrictions for the next 3 months from now.  So I know it’ll take time.  I guess I just didn’t think I’d still be hurting this much.  I guess I thought I’d be further along in my recovery.  But healing takes time, and you just never know what to expect.  My surgeon certainly didn’t expect to be in with me for so long.  So I have to be patient, which I’m not good at.   Which is also partly why I’m letting this class consume me.  It stops me from dwelling on the fact that I’m sitting at home, not making any money, and using all my savings.  Let the healing continue…

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Sometimes Things Fall Into Place

So a long time ago I got interested in tarot cards, and it took me a while to find a deck that really spoke to me.  I mean there are so many decks to choose from and they all look so different.  But about 5 years ago I found a deck called Shapeshifter.  I’ve always been more into werewolves than vampires.  Anyway the deck is absolutely beautiful.  I got the book that went along with the deck because the deck is a little unusual in the way it looks and I wanted to be able to understand the deck when I did a reading.  I got it solely for myself, never thinking I would use it any other way, unless of course one of my friends asked or something.  Anyway, I got a gig now on womansaga.com as their tarot card reader.  Sometimes things just fall into place.  I bid on a job on glance to be a tarot card reader and got the job.  Right now it is non-paying, but who knows, down the road it could turn into a paying gig.  But it was totally unexpected and it was just on a whim that I threw my hat into the ring.  I wasn’t thinking that I’d get it at all.  But hey, if you want your cards read go to the Facebook womansaga site and private message me.  Sometimes unexpected things you do years earlier bear fruit down the line.

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We Create Our Reality

We create our reality.  Where we are right now in our lives is an amalgamation of our thoughts our choices.  It starts with thoughts, and then we make choices or don’t make choices, we take roads or veer down other paths.  But those choices and those roads have lead us directly to where we are today.  So the question is are you where you want to be?  Are you doing the things that you want to do, the things that make you happy?  If so, great! Celebrate that.  But if not, why aren’t you?  Are you too scared, too worried, too afraid of going down that path and not knowing what will happen?  The thing is you’ll never know unless you try.  You’ll just be stuck in this stagnant life that you don’t want, feeling that is somehow better than taking that leap and going for your dreams.  You don’t have to blow your life apart to get what you want.  You can take it one small step at a time if that’s what it takes.  But take those small steps.  Be willing to make the choice to follow your dreams, even if they are outrageously huge, by breaking them down into little bite size pieces so that you can go slowly if you need to.  But if you look back on your life, you can see the choices you made, the things you didn’t do, the roads you didn’t travel, and you can see why you are where you are right now.  So if you truly want to be somewhere else, take the fork in the road, take even a small Leap of Faith, and head towards your dreams.

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Learning from Treehouses

Ever since I remember I wanted to live in a treehouse.  I guess it all started with Swiss Family Robinson.  Who didn’t see that show and long for a house with multiple rooms up in the trees with swinging bridges attaching them.  It was every kids fantasy.  Then you grow up and realize you’ll have to scale that down a bit, to maybe a single room fort.  Then the next thing you know you’re dreaming about building a treehouse for your little one, because you just never got around to it when you were a kid.  But there are lessons to be learned from building treehouses, that most people don’t ever think about or see.

Treehouses in this day and age can be anything you want them to be.  They can be as simple as a fort or as complex as a 2 bedroom 1 bath suite.  So the first lesson, is let your imagination take hold and let the “Swiss Family Robinson” in you out.  As long as you can dream it, an architect can probably design it, so dare to dream about everything you want in a treehouse.  Do you want a porch that surrounds the entire thing that is big enough to hold chairs for you to sit and watch the sunset at night with potted plants hanging down around you?  If so, go for it.  Do you want a 1/2 bath inside with a composting toilet and a covered outdoor shower, that too is possible.  Lesson #1 Let Yourself Dream.

All of what you dream depends on the second lesson, you have to choose the right site.  Choosing the site to build your treehouse is of utmost importance.  It, for obvious reasons, needs to adhere to city and state regulations, but also needs to be atmospheric.  Have the picture window facing the west to see the setting sun, or have a room with a south view and lots of natural light if you are wanting an artist retreat.  You also have to make sure you have the right kind of trees for the construction of your treehouse.  Lesson #2 Be In the Right Place at the Right Time.

Next if you are going big, you need to know that you will need multiple trees.  And you need to build in such a way that allows the trees to bend and sway in the wind carrying your treehouse with it instead of smashing it to smithereens.  Spreading the weight over multiple trees makes the treehouse like a sail in the wind.  It is also important to leave gaps around the branches for the growth and movement of the tree.  Lesson #3 Be Flexible.

The floor, however, needs to be level.  So no matter how many trees you use, unless you are making multiple rooms with bridges in between, the floor itself needs to be level.  Lesson #4 Have a Solid Foundation.

And last but not least, not everything needs to be built in the air.  Build portions of your treehouse down on the ground and then hoist it up and get it in place piece by piece. Lesson #5 Take the Time To Do It Right and Don’t Be In a Rush

So that’s my treehouse wisdom.  Hopefully one day I will have a treehouse of my own.

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Real Metamorphosis

I was reading this book called Twelve By Twelve; A One Room Cabin Off the Grid and Beyond the American Dream, by William Powers, and was reading about what really goes on to a caterpillar and I’d like to show that here…

“Really, we’ve got the story wrong.  We imagine the caterpillar, knowing that it is time, goes to sleep in its womblike cocoon and wake up a smiley, happy butterfly.  That’s not what happens.  As biologist Elisabet Sahtouris explains, the caterpillar devotes its life to hyper-consumption, greedily eating up nature’s bounty.  Then it attaches itself to a twig, like the one on the deer fence, and encases itself in chrysalis.  Once inside, crisis strikes; its body partially liquifies into broth.

Yet perhaps guided by an inner wisdom, what Sahtouris call “organizer cells” go around rounding up their fellow cells to form “imaginal buds.”  These multicellular buds begin to bloom into an entirely new organism but not without resistance.  The caterpillar’s immune system still functions and thinks that the imaginal buds are a virus and attacks them.

But the imaginal buds resist – and ultimately prevail – because they link together, cooperatively, to become a beautiful butterfly, which lives lightly, regenerates life through pollinating flowers, and migrates over vast distances, exploring life in ways that would have been incomprehensible to the caterpillar.”

Metamorphosis isn’t easy, I don’t think it was ever meant to be.  Becoming who you were meant to be, changing yourself, making the tough decisions, none of that is easy.  But it is worth it.  In the end metamorphosis is worth it for the caterpillar and it is worth it for you.  Make the changes necessary to be who you were meant to be.  Follow your passions.  Take your Leap of Faith.


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Taking Some Me Time

Has anyone ever told you it’s okay to take some “me” time?  Maybe they have and maybe they haven’t.  With the holidays, which is always hectic for me with extended family and kids going to 3 sets of grandparents it can be hard to get the times right.  Plus there is work to fit it and when you are a server at a restaurant you don’t get time off for good behavior you get to work your ass off with no time off because it’s the holidays.  And just when the holidays are over and the slow down begins I got a promotion.  They asked me to train to be a supervisor, which is good it meant more money (sometimes), and lots more responsibility.  So I feel like I haven’t slowed down at all.  Now I’m working as a supervisor and as a server and I’m lucky to have a whole day off during the week to spend with the one kid that still lives at home, because most of the time if I do have time off he usually has to work at his job so we are like two ships passing in the night, more like roomies now then mother and son.  It’s hard to find time for me let alone time to do stuff with him since all he wants to do is play Xbox online.  But when I do get those precious days every once in a blue moon to myself I end up doing errands and cleaning the house and all the stuff that doesn’t get done because I’m working so much.  Today I have a day off.  And yes I have to go to the store because the cupboard is bare, but today I’m taking some me time for once.  I’m pampering myself with a long soothing bubble bath, giving myself a mani/pedi, and catching up on my favorite tv shows.  I deserve it.  Everyone needs “me” time; time to recharge the batteries and do something special for themselves.  Don’t forget that.  Too bad my son isn’t off, I’d take him to a movie.

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Take A Leap With a New Endeavor

Just because you aren’t awesome at something doesn’t mean you can’t try it.  If you want to try something new, Go For It!  You will never be great the first time you do it.  You will have to work at it to become better.  But eventually you will become more proficient at it.  But you will never know what you could have done if you never even give yourself the chance to get out of your comfort zone and try something new.  Take a Leap of Faith.  Let go of all your worries, let go of what other people will think of you, just take a deep breath and jump in with both feet.  It is actually really freeing to try something new and realize that it wasn’t so bad after all and that it is okay to be who you really are in front of other people.  And the possibilities are endless.  How many things have you been putting off because you thought you might look too foolish or awkward?  Start doing them!  

Remember that trust exercise you had to do where you stood with your back facing everyone and you had to fall back and let them catch you?  Well here is your chance to let the universe catch you.  Trust that everything will work out for the best and it usually does.  Just be open to what life has in store for you.  Many opportunities could be just around the corner, you just have to reach out and grab hold.

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