Since it is Thanksgiving I thought I’d do a post on what I’m most thankful for. What I am most thankful for may sound strange to you, but I am thankful that I had cancer. I would not be who I am today if I had not gone though that experience. I learned so much. Like who my real friends were, who stood by me and who slowly disappeared in the wind. What I was like before is not the person I am now. It’s not that I was completely selfish, but I will admit I did some selfish things.
But I also learned how strong I could be. I had to pick up and move half way across the country, where I knew no one. I had to leave my family and friends. No one from my family came to visit me. My parents called me I think 3 times while I was there, separately, of course, since they are divorced. I called my dad a few times, but I’m talking about them actually picking up the phone to call me. I had to get through a very rough time, all on my own, and being shy didn’t help. I was finally close to a beach, but because of the drugs I couldn’t get out in the sun. We had to eat every couple of hours or we’d get sick. We couldn’t drink except 3 glasses of red wine a week. I put myself on a raw food diet, after doing some research on diets for people with cancer. I had to be strong, and I had to persevere. Some nights I went to bed crying, and there were times I had to put a smile on my face during the day, even when I didn’t feel like smiling. But I got through it. And now, I’m cancer free.
Having cancer also made me take a good, long hard look at myself; how I was treating people, how I wanted my life to go, what I wanted do to and be, and that I truly wanted a better relationship with my children. I am a better person for having the cancer. I am definitely more compassionate, more loving, more determined to do something selfless with my life. I am more tolerant of others, I am more giving, and I am more loyal.
I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be responsible, to be have compassion. It is, above all, to matter, to count, to stand for something, to have made some difference. For your life to have meant something, no matter how small a contribution you make. I am now an EMT and learning to become an herbalist. I am planning on taking a phlebotomy class and midwife class. I want to learn a more wholistic way of viewing medicine and health and to help others see that medicine can be a good thing, but there are other things that you can also do with diet, herbs, supplements, exercise, etc, that can heal your body as well.
What are you thankful for?